I hereby bequeath to you all
A poem, my quirky downfall.
This brief and crazy reprieve
From my buzzing inanity.

It has been quite the umpteenth week
For a shred of clarity, I doth seek.
I have aged only a half century
Losing what was left of my sanity.

Wherever I may try to go
I spy a sly furry shadow.
My stealthy cats take turns I swear
Tripping me more than I should care.

No “ands” or “buts” or “in-betweens”
Just coffee and cats and quirky teens.
I just may cause quite the scene –
“Mom! Have you seen my jeans?!”

My blood may be of pumpkin spice,
And in this chaos I need my vice.
If I hear one more “breaking news story”
I’ll implode in all my wacky glory.

While my life may feel a bit absurd,
I know my ex is still a turd!
As I flip him the almighty bird,
God, I hope he effing heard!

As I drink the tears of mine enemies
I dub myself thy Queen of Hilarity.
I may be a freaking hot mess
I laugh it off, all in good jest!