Dear Universe,

I am formally requesting that you CEASE AND DESIST all further harassment, including but not limited to:
✔ Random power outages during rare moments of productivity.
✔ Forcing my children to become chaos agents against my will.
✔ The direct and intentional theft of my sanity-acorn.
✔ The repeated gaslighting via social media doom scrolling.
✔ Unsolicited plagues, economic collapses, and sociopathic billionaires.
✔ General nonsense, tomfoolery, and cosmic BS.

Failure to comply will result in:
🔥 Me continuing to spitefully exist.
🔥 Relentless sarcasm, satire, and cosmic middle fingers.
🔥 Further documentation of your crimes via poetry, because apparently, my words have power.

Consider this your final warning. If further acts of ABSURDITY persist, I will escalate this complaint directly to the cosmic manager.

Sincerely,
A Very Tired Human Who Has Had Enough